Many times in our lives when we just want to do a lot of things and oftentimes, this happens during our teen years. Not with me. I had this episode not so long ago when I am not in my teen years anymore. I am the type of a person who does everything that pleases me. I rebel with whatever and whenever there are changes around me and I fight it til I breakdown. I remember one time when my previous boss told us that there will be changes in the way things are audited. Of course, me being rebellious and a non-fan of change, I just did not mind what she said. I fought it as if it’s a never ending battle every time but I always end up doing it anyway. Saturday is the deadline and Monday is the reports day where all the shenanigans and the nitty gritty side of my job happen. Since I don't want it, I do it on the reports day but my BFF told me to choose my battles. Take this task. I can never win the fight for it was a directive from the bosses. After so many sigh I aired out, they still won over my stubborn self for they are the bosses. The battle my friend was saying is the battle I felt fighting to all the time.
Taking years after that, one morning, it came to a point that God intervened in my life. Literally, I felt like the lost sheep whom He searched in the fields and when He found me, He put me on His shoulders then brought me home with Him. Back then I was like, "God must have big and sturdy back and shoulders for He was able to carry me around His neck without breaking it!" hehe.. Kidding aside, I really felt that. I was a lost sheep and when I was found, God gave me a better place to stay in - His shoulders - as if telling me that I am safe with Him as the song of Rivermaya goes "You'll be safe here.". The night after I went under the knife was the most important night of my life - my turning point. It was the night when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Just this weekend, someone approached and asked me how did I become a Christian and I answered, "I am a product of unending prayer of my friends." Then there were flashback of my previous life. Tears fell and thugs came from everywhere.
I had so many heart aches and heart breaks in life and the reason why I fight things before it's because that's the only way I know I can win things over. Unfortunately, I never did win any of it til I find myself worn out. Before, I thought being a Christian is a "jologs' kind of thing but it isn't. I admire my BFF for she is a good example of a disciplined Christian and I thought to myself that if I become a Christian, my life will be as boring as hers but I never had a boring step in my walk with Christ. Christ taught me a lot of things and these are the things I only learn from school - from the books - but never put that into practice so never that He had an effect in my life. Patience, Humility, Compassion, Love, Respect and a lot more did he teach me and up to now is still teaching me but the very first step to take is not to copy any of these then you'll experience Christ . It is in the act of surrender that is a sign of denial of one's self and letting God control our lives. It gives us such a liberating feel that gives us a worry-free feeling that you know someone got your back.
When I realized this, I suddenly feel the stillness inside me that I never thought of feeling at all in this lifetime. I thought that it will never happen and that people like my BFF are the ones who deserve this feeling but God is faithful and a loving God. He wants ALL of His children to experience such wonderful things in life - only the BEST - and ALL means including ME. With all these things given to you, would you still rebel and fight things hard? NO MORE. You should not anymore. You will learn how to respect your boss and his decisions for you know that God gave him that position to serve his purpose as a manager then follow him. You will learn how to care for your workmate then this shows compassion to them and then love comes after it. You will learn how to respect your parents for this pleases God and has been His command to honor them. My heart was tamed by God and there is nothing in this world that I would risk the kind of relationship I have with Him with something that is temporary and conditional. There's nothing I can compare a tamed heart with anything but a heart with God at the very center of it continuously improving the very me from what used to be a rebel.
For it is written in Matthew 17:20 -- "He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Nothing is really impossible with God. I had little faith but God changed me and my rebel heart. I know God has a purpose in me and he started by taming my heart so I can serve my purpose well. So let God control you and wonderful things will happen.
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