When we are hurt what do we do? Do you avenge? Do you fire back at them? Do you curse their lineage? Do you dump your friendship? Do you forgive and forget?
Most of us easily just do everything but forgive and forget. A lot of us would say that we forgive this person but will never forget what they did. If so, where's forgiveness then? A couple of weeks ago, during our T4V, we talked about forgiveness and how wonderful feeling can it give us once we practice doing so. However, as human beings, we just opt not to because we're hurt. One thing that struck me the most was that the reason why we cannot forgive is the fact that we just acknowledge that we are hurt that's why we cannot move on and by moving on means that we have to forgive first. We cannot do this the other way around. Just today, I felt a big thug in my heart for I was hurt by someone who is so dear to me. Without her knowing it, she did hurt me.
It all started when she hurt the people around our circle even those who are outside looking in and trying to get in to the impenetrable membrane of our group. She ripped them off their property and possession. I may sound very accusing but I know that there has been tarnished trust and damaged relationships. I would talk to her and verify if there's a sight of truth somewhere and she did but people are saying otherwise. I would in turn talk to each individual and they would say otherwise. At first, I gave her the benefit of the doubt that this person may have been a victim of a black propaganda however, as the week’s progress, names are popping out of no where and the stories are overwhelming.
One night, as I was preparing for work, I received a very concerning and alarming call from this person. She was ripped off by the sidewalk! I was so concerned about her and wanted to just get there to show support and to tell her that I'm here for her. When I stepped in, I went straight to her and made sure that I ask her how she was really and she said [while sobbing] that she's not okay. I hugged her and told her I'm here for her. The night progressed and I saw smirking look from a lot of people which I confirmed when one soul came up to me and told me that she doesn’t believe her. Of course, I asked what happened and what made her say her claim then the stories started pouring out. This person ripped off a lot of her friends and those outside looking in. I then talked to her what really happened so the cycle started all over.
Today, she's not here and people are waiting for her arrival because they are waiting for their prized possessions are returned to them but they failed. I confronted her through SMS and told her what's happening and all that but she gave me the entire alibi she can provide me. Towards the end of the day, the people gathered and I gathered more information about what went really wrong. As I try to dig deeper to the issue, I was still able to preserve my poise and kept my cool however, somewhere in my heart, I know that there are questions that I want her to answer. Then I and 3 more souls went up to take a little break when one of them said something that broke my heart. I cannot put things in detail but this person tarnished my integrity with our common ground. I know there's truth somewhere but what she said was totally unacceptable. I got my heart broken and checked my heart how's it doing now given these facts.
Honestly, I am deeply hurt but I don’t feel bad at all. I admit something went wrong down the road and there are a lot of favors that I did for her but shall I forgive her? YES and another YES for that. I don't want to get stuck on the fact that I am just hurt. I also want to move on because at the end of the day, she's still my sister in Christ. As mentioned in Matthew 6:12 "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." It was also mentioned in Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Who am I to judge? Who am I to condemn? Who am I not to forgive? Jesus Christ forgave us PERIOD. No IFs. No BUTs. He did not say "I will forgive you because you were good in giving your tithes and I will not forgive that person for he did not give his tithe." In God there is no uncertainty. He is unchanging so as His Love for us. Yes, I am hurt but I forgave her. I love her because Jesus loves me.
My heart may be hurting and crying right now but God will give me rest, calm me and ultimately will comfort me. I will forgive for this is what God did for me --- He forgave my past, present and future sins so who am I not to forgive?
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